I SWAM WITH SHARKS! My biggest nightmare came true...

I wasn’t looking for adventure. Honest! My goal for the week was to relax with my dear friends, bask in the sun, and quiet my mind.

But adventure has a way of making itself known when you aren’t expecting it.

And that’s how I experienced my lifelong primal fear come true during my vacation in the Bahamas – swimming with sharks.

I’ve been going to Atlantis in the Bahamas for years. Atlantis is a 170-acre sprawling resort that gives you any fun-in-the-sun experience you could possibly want – beach, pools, bars, restaurants, golf, spa, casinos, shopping…and gigantic aquariums full of the most interesting sea life you have ever seen.

I mean big – like 2.7 million gallon-big.

In those aquariums swim eagle and manta rays, jellyfish, lionfish, lobsters, a grouper the size of Chicago and a lot of smaller ones, sawfish, and sharks. A lot of sharks!

They even have two water slides that shoot you directly through the shark tank – The Serpent and the infamous Leap of Faith.

For years, I would press my nose against the glass of the shark tank and just imagine what it would be like to swim with them. When the kids were little and I was a chronic worrier, I would dread the idea that one would fall in and I would imagine that all the sharks would rush right over and eat them alive.

I had an overactive imagination, but that’s what sleep deprivation will do to you.

So coming back on a kid-free week brought me a new perspective to the experience. I couldn’t get enough of staring at these majestic creatures and wondering what it’s like for them to be in their world.

Poor Kirsten, Pam and Allison – I am sure they got tired of me saying, “But what do you think the fish are thinking?” as we watched the parade of sea life going by. You can say these kinds of off-the-wall things when you are with a group of lifelong friends who you know fully and completely have your back, no matter how weird you are.

This week was in celebration of our 30th year Penn reunion, and 34 years of being friends. Pam, Kirsten, Allison and I all met during the pre-freshman program, and have been friends ever since. It’s easy to be lifelong friends with such interesting, smart, and kind people, and going through the traumatic boot camp of nursing school has a way of bonding you for life.

We all agreed early on in the trip that we would use this week to clear our minds, relieve our stresses, plan our goals, and support each other. And to laugh hysterically. Often.

None of us has had a vacation where the intent was to simply lie on a beach for an entire week in years and years, so we went into it with gusto.

And that’s exactly what we did – for the first six days of the trip.

The biggest decisions we had to make were whether we should float in the ocean or lounge by the pool. Whether we should get french fries or salad. Whether we should get a Bahama Mama or a Mojito. And whether we should walk to get coffee or drink the black molasses coffee that Allison made (that stuff will get you RAMPED up!!!).

We did have experiences along the way that I would consider adventure-adjacent:

One day, we got to talking in the ocean while we were floating and didn’t realize we had been pulled out really far from shore by the current. For the first time, I truly felt the fear of not being able to swim to shore and the fatigue that comes when you swim and swim and swim and don’t make any progress. It was a relief to see the lifeguards noticing what was going on and getting ready for a rescue if needed, but thankfully we eventually got ourselves to shore. My sunglasses went on a permanent vacation in the Bahamas when a gnarly wave crested over my head, but I’ll consider that to be my sacrifice to the sea for saving me from an embarrassing water rescue or a newspaper-worthy drowning incident. (Headlines would read – Stupid American Woman Drowns Because She was Talking Too Much).

One night, we played Cards Against Humanity with Malcom and Dudley, Pam’s Marine son and his friend. There was much laughter and inappropriate snickering that happened.

Every night, we had yoga night with meditation, wall stretches, and hip openers led by Allison.

On a rainy day, we had a spa day. I was looking forward to a heavenly Fire and Ice massage and was perplexed when I was given a very different experience than the others had. While they had their hands and scalp lovingly and gently kneaded, I felt like I was a piece of dough that was being kneaded. While they had a quiet experience with ocean sounds in the background, I heard stories from my masseuse about how she had to trim the “yellow, long and smelly” toenails of a client. While they had warm stones placed in their hands and cool gel gently massaged on their back, mine squired oil on my back like she was putting mustard on a hot dog and she dropped the hot stones on the ground. Didn’t matter – I relaxed afterwards in the spa area which made up for the sub-par massage itself. Next day, I was walking through the casino and saw my masseur dealing blackjack. I bet because it was a rainy day and all the guests wanted massages at the same time, they pulled anyone they could into the spa to perform services. It makes sense now because the way she rubbed my back was the same way she would clear the cards from the table.

Pam’s dad went fishing and coconut hunting and I got to experience fresh-from-the-tree coconut meat and coconut water and fresh-from-the-sea grouper. Yum!!

We had a shuttle ride back with a hysterical shuttle driver who made us laugh and delivered us directly to our door, despite the rest of the bus needing to go somewhere else.

I enjoyed the limo ride to the airport with a driver who told me in great detail of his biggest adventures (jumping off the top of the Paradise Island bridge from 73 feet up) and gave me a huge hug when he dropped me off.

I wasn’t actively looking for adventure, and was perfectly content.

But then it happened.

The biggest Badass adventure of this entire project.

The most terrifying one.

The most thrilling one.

This is the adventure that beats all other adventures when it comes to tackling my longest and most fierce fear – sharks.

Here is that story:

We decided to hit the beach and pools one last time but wandered over by way of “The Ruins” walkway – in essence, we walked over the top of the 2.5 gallon aquarium and looked down into the water to see the sealife from a different angle.

As we were walking, we saw two Atlantis employees who were hanging out. I wanted to go over and ask them all about their jobs working there but Allison beat me to it by saying hi. They asked her if she wanted to jump in, and she said no, laughing that it was probably too cold.

I hesitated. Because that’s what I do sometimes when I’m afraid to put myself out there.

But I blurted out, “I would 100% jump in there if I could”.

One of the men said, “Ok, go ahead!”.

Me: What? No way. I would get kicked out, right?

Him: Nope.

Me: I could really jump in and you would be ok with that?

Him: Yes. Let’s go for a swim. I’ll go with you. You can use my mask.

Me: Really? Like for real?

Him: Yeah. Come on!

I looked at Pam, Kirsten and Allison – they all were looking at me like I was crazy and were doing the rational thing of trying to encourage me to walk away. That’s what good friends do.

But good friends also hold your bag, shoes and cover-up and take pictures and videos when you decide to do a leap of faith and take him up on it.

Shon was my main guide, and Kenneth was the “back-up”, though Shon made a big deal of telling us about Kenneth’s bravery and how much he loves to wrestle with the sharks. They talked about how the sharks recognize them and know they are not there to do harm. But sometimes they do come over and push them around for various reasons. And sometimes the sharks get so close and feisty that they knock off the mask of the diving team. So Kenneth will get feisty back and wrestle them a bit for the delight of the tourists watching from below. He told us that it was too bad he wasn’t wearing his scuba gear because he loves to lie on the bottom of the tank and blow air rings.

I think they have the best job in the entire world.

But all this time during the conversation, I was mentally preparing myself to dive in. Would I have a panic attack knowing there were sharks in there? How do these guys even know that I can swim? Are they truly allowed to do this? And mostly – OMG, I can’t believe I get to go in the place where I have always wondered what it is like.

After hoisting myself over the railing, Shon, showed me how to get a foothold to slide into the water. This was one of the biggest thrills of my life – to find myself snorkeling around the tank with schools of fish coming up to explore and realizing there was a giant nurse shark hanging out on the bottom with us.

I also realized that there were giant windows in the tank that gave the tourists having lunch at the Shake Shack a clear view of the sea life, so I spent some time

waving at the diners and getting stunned waves back. I could just see them thinking, “There is a fat American woman in the pool waving at me.” But I didn’t care one bit. It was glorious being in that world. After floating around for a while, we climbed out the other side, and that’s when he asked if I wanted to be in the next tank over with the Saw Fish.

Um…hell yeah!!!!!

He told me to walk quietly and we went and stood over in the shallow area where these fascinating creatures were hanging out. Not talking, not getting in their space, but being so close to them was thrilling.

I couldn’t believe Shon was kind enough to give me this once in a lifetime experience and couldn’t stop thanking him. He said that it was his pleasure and that he loves giving people experiences of joy. He said that it makes his heart happy, and darned if he didn’t really mean it. Seeing how thrilled I was, he asked if I wanted to have another aquarium swim later in the afternoon at the shark tank.

UMMMM…..YES!!!!! And Pam wanted to join – even better. So we exchanged numbers and made plans to meet up later on.

We headed to Shake Shack to get a snack and to see the aquarium from inside. While we were there, Kenneth came swimming down in his scuba gear, saw us, came over to the window, and proceed to put on the most incredible display of blowing ring bubbles for us. We whooped and hollered and were thrilled he did that for us.

Fast forward to later in the afternoon…the skies opened up and it started to downpour. Lightning streaked and Pam and I realized our shark swim might not happen. Kirsten and Allison smartly decided to head back to the room, but Pam and I agreed that we would wander around in the storm and check things out.

We wandered by the Leap of Faith and who did we see right away but Shon! We asked him if shark swimming was possible.

Him: Well, they just called a Code Silver.

Me: Aw no. A missing old person (which is what a Code Silver is in my world).

Him: No. Lightning. So no more work for me this afternoon.

Me: Too bad for us but good for you. Do you get to go home now?

Him: Why would I want to go home and sit around there? Let’s go for a swim. I’ll go get the equipment. Meet me up by the top of the shark tank.

Pam and I hurried up there and stood shivering from the cold rain and from fear as we looked into the deep tank swirling with sharks. She confidently said, “Well, maybe the rain desensitizes the sharks”. After which we belly laughed at the brave but ludicrous statement. I felt adrenaline coursing through my body – part dread (I don’t think I can do this) and part exhilaration (I can’t NOT do this).

Shan came back but with a very different presence--no longer the jovial, happy go lucky attitude.

He was now solemn, quiet, and matter-of fact.

He had a colleague join us named Kenneth. Shon explained they needed two staff members with us to act as a guards - - one guard for each of us. (Unlike Keith, Kenneth was clearly not a fan of the shenanigans that were about to happen.)

He said that while the sharks recognized staff because of their dive suits, the sharks didn’t know us. So Shon and Kenneth would be there to protect us.

He said to stick to the wall of the tank, try not to splash a lot, and follow his lead.

He told us that sharks can sense what you are feeling, so it was important for us to stay calm.

And then he said, “Let’s swim.”

So Pam and I put on our mask and snorkel, grabbed hands and held on to each other for dear life.

We watched Shan gently lower himself into the tank, and, taking one last breath of courage, we did the same.

I have never been so terrified to look in the water below my body and see circling sharks, and it gave me a whole new respect seeing their size in direct relation to me.

Immediately, I saw a 8 footer directly below me noticing we were there. And I saw all the other nurse sharks hanging out at the bottom. But it was the reef sharks that were swimming around and paying attention to what we were doing.

I literally couldn’t get myself to put my feet in the water while we were swimming in the tank and awkwardly stuck them in the air. But Pam was braver than me and let hers dangle down.

Still gripping hands, we gently paddled after Shon and swam to the far side of the tank. At one point, I noticed we were slipping ahead of him, and I panicked a bit to try to slow down without making any splashes. Pam and I dropped hands. I was truly on my own. In a tank full of sharks.

I turned around to see Pam heading back across the tank so I followed her. (She was more afraid of the lightening that was zipping all around us than the sharks, as it turned out). Finally realizing I needed to put my feet in the water to help me swim, I kicked and paddled to the exit spot, keenly aware that the sharks were circling underneath us.

Shan and Kenneth were MIA.

Pam and I pulled ourselves out of the water, and I couldn’t help but scream, “Holy Sh*t, that was absolutely f***ing incredible, I can’t believe I just did that!!! ”.

We both started belly laughing and shrieking, the adrenaline catching up with us.

Shan popped out of the water a few seconds later and swam over to us. He laughed and said, “You have no idea what was going on. The bottom of your feet are really white and the sharks were attracted to that. They were coming up to get a better look at you guys so I had to push them away so they didn’t nudge up against you.”

So my biggest fear of swimming and feeling like a shark is coming up behind me wanting to open their mouth and take a taste ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

Our adrenaline kept pumping through us for hours – and I didn’t sleep a wink all night because of it.

I know it is a closed tank. I know that the sharks are well fed and don’t want to eat us. I know that the potential risks were low.

But here’s the thing.

The risks weren’t zero.

Shon was clearly somber and focused during the shark swim, much more than he was during the morning swim. It was clear that he was not messing around and clear that he had huge respect for the sharks and their capabilities. And I knew that I was the invader in their world. I had no business being there. I wasn’t there to feed them or clean the tank. I was an unfamiliar imposter in their home and they would have had every right to come up and do an exploratory taste.

Shon was simply a kind, loving person who said that it was his pleasure to give us this experience because he enjoyed our energy and wanted to spread love to others. I told him over and over that he has changed my life with this gift and that I would never, ever forget what he did for us.

Pam and I went below to check out the tank from the visitor’s viewpoint and we counted four reef sharks (around 8 feet each) and 6 nurse sharks (even longer) that we were swimming with.