So I came to Denver for a work conference, but as you know, I jumped into the city a few days early to explore and check out the city.
After my amazing experience with the International Church of Cannabis, I wanted to find something just as unique "Can't do it anywhere else" kind of adventure.
Art museum? Nah.
Hike in the mountains? Nah. My foot would be really upset with me.
Going to the Denver Aquarium (where, according to a local, "Is an absolutely terrible aquarium because it has two tigers locked in a cage and all the fish only have one eye".)? Um, H - E - double hockey sticks NO.
So I checked out Atlas Obscura, which is my favorite go-to site for finding unusual things to do. And the Colorado Cannabis Company Tour was highly recommended. So I bumped over to my trusty Trip Adivsor to see what they had to say. Tons and tons of positive reviews: So much fun! Great way to learn! See the Growing Factory! Check out Glass Blowing! Get a tour of the City! And learn about this growing industry!
Ok. I will.
I have absolutely no problem whatsoever if someone is into MJ. I actually think it is a better option than alcohol and other vices people tend to have. And I think the medicinal benefits are tremendous. So my goal was to learn about the product how patients can most effectively use it. Swear to God!
So I was a little taken aback when I signed in for the tour. The tour guide verified my registration, checked my ID, and started the following set of directions:
Tour Guide: "Ok, here's your first joint. Here's your gummy. There's a back patio over there. Go ahead and get started.".
Me: Deer in headlights look. "Um....."
Tour Guide: "Are you a beginner?"
Me: "Yah."
Tour Guide: "Then maybe you want to start with just a half of the gummy."
Me: Deer in headlights look.
Tour Guide: "Or you can sit in our living room and read the magazines while you are waiting".
I read every single magazine they had. One thing I didn't consider is that even though I personally am a very punctual person, and if the tour starts at 4pm I better get there early to be sure I don't hold up the group, the other participants in the tour were already well on their way and time was just a general concept. So we got started almost an hour late.
No biggie. I got to check out the wall art and even got to do my signature "Be Badass" Colorado wall art.
So we got on the bus. I was the only sober one, including the tour guide and the driver.
And everyone was a good 30 years younger than me.
One girl just sat there staring out the window with a goofy smile on her face. The ENTIRE TIME.
Another couple told me there come here on the weekends from Kansas because...you know...Texas. Plus his father is on his city's Police force and isn't aware of his 420 habit.
So there I was. Super uncomfy because this is not my crowd and not my scene. So I did what I do when I get nervous -- I started asking questions to try to fit in. As I was telling the story the next night, my good friend Joanne remarked, "Oh honey...asking questions was probably the exact way NOT to fit in". True dat.
Especially when I asked questions like:
"So, y'all are super high right now. What do the lights of the bus look like to you?"
and
"Are you making good life choices?"
But I learned a ton about cannabis...how it is grown, how it should be taken for best effects (did you know that you should eat mango prior to consuming edibles?), and exactly what everyone's favorite strains are and why.
Our first stop was at a cannabis-growing warehouse. I saw a lot of plants at various stages of growing. We were there for a long time. That's all I have to say about that stop.
Then we hit a dispensary where my fellow bus riders stocked up. I got to admire a fishtank with artificial jellyfish while we waited for everyone. I had a long conversation with the bus driver about drug testing for work and the perils of driving under the influence. He kind of missed the irony that he was completely high...and the bus driver...but 'kay.
Next stop was a glass-blowing factory. We had strict instructions to gather only around our tour-specific glass blower and to completely ignore anyone else that happens to be working there. "Do not engage. Do not even look at them. They get cranky".
As we were getting off the bus, our tour guide handed our our second joint of the night, and reassured us that it was fine to light up in the glass blowing warehouse.
Groovy.
So there I sat, wearing my safety goggles as instructed, completely engulfed in a hazy cloud of skunky-goodness, trying not to cough because I didn't want to look uncool, heaven forbid, watching a guy blow a glass pipe, while being a rebel and watching the other workers out of the corner of my eye. I'm badass that way.
We all piled back on the bus and headed to another dispensary, this time being assigned to a "Budtender" of our very own. I felt so sorry for mine because I told him right off the bat that he wouldn't be getting a commission from me and if he wanted to partner with another bus person who would be making a purchase, I understood. He kindly, and very mellowly, said, "Naaaahhhhh....we're good."
He was awesome -- we went to a table where there was a sniffing station. I think we smelled 20 different kinds of MJ and it was like we were doing a wine tasting.
Him: "Here's _____ strain".
Me: "Hmmmm.....I can pick up the citrusy undertones with a bouquet of lime".
Him: "Right on..."
Me: (glowing with pride because I think I just earned an A+ in MJ smelling).
So after this, we got back on the bus. On our way back, our tour guide let us know that if we submit a review to Trip Advisory and show it to her, we'll get a free Cannabis Tour T-shirt.
AAAAHHHHHh!!!!!!! That's why they had so many reviews!!!!
I got me a t-shirt.
Badass Addendum:
By the way, earlier that way, I had an incredible experience with Caitlin at the Urban Luxury Lofts. I decided to get my hair done before the conference. And let's go ahead and get some color. And get my eye brows done too. What the heck -- why not.
So I did a search for "Salons close to my hotel" and found this one. I picked Caitlin after reading she is a Chicago transplant and that she loves to "paint and sculpt". Perfect!
She was INCREDIBLE. So nice. So kind. So inspiring. I was with her for hours and we never stopped talking. She shared some amazing badass experiences of her life and truly blew me away with what she has been able to accompish, despite her own fears and barriers. Not only did I get a sweet 'do and finally have eyebrows you can see, but I found a friend. I can't wait to see her again when I'm back in Denver in 2023.
Stay tuned for my next post where I share with you the MANY badass adventures that I got to do during the conference itself.
And there will be no mention of cannabis in that post. I promise!
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